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Hi! Welcome to my birthday feedback page.

I’m Ji-Youn (they/she) or 지연이~.

You found this page through an email, a DM, my newsletter or my social media. So I hope you already know who I am lol. This is an audacious (and thus, vulnerable!) thing that I’m doing! So please be tender 🌻. If this page is not accessible to you or if you have any further questions/comments, please email me at [email protected].

I ask that you read my ramble first, but if you just want to get to the point, here’s the form: give ji-youn 💗 feedback!

Okay, some context! 🌱

In my recent grief work & supervision, I learned two hard truths about myself.

  1. As a Mad psychiatric survivor who didn’t think I’d make it past 21, I have embraced death more than I have embraced life.
  2. I devalue my care work and perpetuate the patriarchal, ableist notion that femme care work is not “real political work.” And thus, I am not yet practiced in fully receiving affirming feedback (in a felt-sense way) as I hyperfocus on critique in attempts for accountability for my participation in the mental health industrial complex. (Shoutout to one of my supervisors who said, “False humility does not make us more accountable.” That’s sticking with me for life.)

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You can read some of the processing I’ve been doing on my mad diaries tag on substack!

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This summer, I am turning 30 ☀️ I have lived double the lifetime of my friend who died by suicide at 15 and it has been 10 years since my first few attempts to die. As a double leo, my birthday is always an event of celebration, but 30 feels like a transformative portal 💫. I am taking it as an opportunity to start embracing life, as if this life is mine. In that, I am entering into two key practices:

  1. To understand and embody the felt-sense knowing that joy and spirit is the fucking point. To embrace and celebrate life is not in opposition to, but is in parallel with, grieving losses and deaths.
  2. To cultivate a therapeutic, relational practice that nourishes me as well as my people. To truly receive and feel the influence I have in peoples’ lives as a Mad, queer, corean care worker and community member.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on all that I have done and experienced in the past 10 years since my first few suicide attempts. All the learnings, joys, heartbreaks, and love that I got to experience because I am still here. I’ve thought about legacy over the years and I do not intend for children or my career to be my legacy. I want my legacy to be my relationships. I hope for and know that when I die, my people will say, wow, ji-youn loved their people well. And while I know this cognitively, I’d like to receive the affirmations in a felt-sense way while I am alive. So this is my invitation to you.

The invitation 💗

For my birthday, I am asking folks to share with me loving & affirming feedback! I am inviting in friends, acquaintances, client community members, internet mutuals and strangers on the internet (so please be nice and gtfo if you’re going to be a hater). I’m going to sit through the responses throughout the months and practice reading & receiving them with my full body-mind-spirit.

I’m leaving the form questions pretty open-ended so that you can share whatever feels resonant for you. But here are some ideas!